Talking, Praising and Teaching: Why Parent Interactions Shape Children’s School Readiness
Walk into a classroom of four- and five-year-olds, and you’ll see a delightful mix: one child writing their name proudly, another still experimenting with pencil grips; some sharing crayons happily, others wriggling and struggling to listen to a story. This variety is not unusual — but what shapes these differences?
A large New Zealand study (Bird et al., 2024) followed nearly 5,000 children just before school entry and discovered something both simple and powerful: the way parents talk to children during learning moments really matters.
What the Study Found
Researchers looked at a five-minute parent–child task — making a “birthday invitation.” They then connected parent behaviours during this task with children’s wider learning and development.
They found four big pillars of early learning:
-
Literacy & Numeracy Skills – writing names, recognising letters, counting.
-
Oral Language & Regulation – vocabulary, understanding emotions, self-control.
-
Behaviour Difficulties – conduct, hyperactivity, peer relationships.
-
Interpersonal & Motor Skills – prosocial behaviour, informal talk, gross motor development.
And here’s the joyful discovery:
-
Print talk (pointing out letters, sounds, numbers) → boosted literacy & numeracy.
-
Praise and encouragement → reduced behaviour difficulties and built confidence.
-
Open-ended questions (“What do you think we should write next?”) → improved oral language, regulation, and social skills.
Even after accounting for family background, parental education, ethnicity, or child sex, these little interactions still made a measurable difference.
Why This Matters for Teachers
The findings remind us that early learning is multidimensional. It’s not only about who can read the alphabet or count to ten — children also bring with them skills in talking, listening, moving, sharing, and regulating emotions.
And the good news? The very same strategies parents use at the kitchen table can also enrich our classrooms.
What You Can Try in Your Classroom
Here are three practical ways to bring the research alive:
1. Recognise the Whole Child
-
Notice and celebrate not just academic achievements, but also effort, sharing, fine motor progress, and emotional regulation.
-
For example: “I saw how you waited your turn today — that really helped our group.”
2. Model the Talk That Grows Learning
-
Ask open-ended questions: Instead of “What letter is this?” try, “What do you think we should write here?”
-
Praise the process, not just the product: “I love how carefully you tried that ‘S’!”
-
Highlight print and numbers naturally: Point to labels in the classroom, count materials together, or invite children to “help you notice” letters around the room.
3. Partner With Parents
-
Share these strategies in newsletters, workshops, or informal chats at pick-up time.
-
Remind parents they don’t need expensive apps or worksheets — their everyday words, questions, and encouragement are the most powerful teaching tools.
Reflection
Think about it: a simple five-minute birthday invitation activity predicted differences in literacy, behaviour, and social skills. Imagine the potential in our classrooms, where we spend hours with children each day!
Every time you lean in with a smile, ask “What do you think?” or celebrate effort with a warm, specific praise, you’re not just filling time — you’re shaping a child’s confidence, their curiosity, and their readiness to thrive in school.
Key Reference
Bird, A., Reese, E., Schaughency, E., Waldie, K., Atatoa-Carr, P., Morton, S., & Grant, C. (2024). Talking, praising and teaching: How parent interaction during a learning task relates to children’s early learning. Early Childhood Research Quarterly, 66, 255–268. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.ecresq.2023.10.001
