Working with Parents and Families

Families are the most important partners in supporting autistic learners. They know their child’s history, strengths, interests, and challenges in ways that teachers may not see in school. Yet in Bangladesh, conversations about autism can be difficult. Parents may feel fear, shame, confusion, or pressure from extended family. They may not have access to accurate information, and many have never heard the term “autism” at all.

A supportive school does not expect families to arrive already informed. Instead, it meets them with respect, listens deeply, and builds a partnership where the goal is simple: help the child feel safe, understood, and successful both at school and at home.

This chapter provides practical guidance for teachers and leaders, especially those who work in settings without SENCOs or specialists. It outlines how to build trust, communicate sensitively, and collaborate even when conversations are challenging.

Family Perspectives in the Bangladesh Context

Understanding stigma, fear, and cultural narratives

Stigma, fear, and misunderstanding

Many families in Bangladesh associate differences in behaviour, communication, or learning with:

• shyness, stubbornness, or poor discipline
• “late development” that will “fix itself”
• spiritual or moral causes
• pressure from neighbours or relatives (“Your child is not behaving normally.”)

These beliefs are deeply rooted in cultural norms and often passed down through generations. They are not signs of neglect or lack of care. They reflect the limited access to diagnoses and public understanding of autism across the country.

Parents may not know the term “autism”

It is common for:

• teachers to notice autistic traits first
• families to feel surprised or defensive
• parents to say “My child is not like that” because they associate autism only with severe disability
• relatives to insist “He is just naughty” or “She is just sensitive”

This is why teachers must rely on observable descriptions, not labels.

Blame often falls on mothers

In many families, mothers face disproportionate judgement:

• “You didn’t teach him properly.”
• “She acts this way because you spoil her.”
• “What did you do wrong during pregnancy?”

A respectful school culture actively avoids reinforcing these narratives. Mothers often carry enormous emotional burdens; a teacher’s empathy can be transformative.

How to Build Trust with Families

Relationships come before strategies

Parents are more likely to engage positively when they feel understood, respected, and valued—not judged.

Communicating observations without labels

Teachers can share concerns by describing what they see:

• “He finds noise very difficult and covers his ears.”
• “She understands well when spoken to but struggles to start writing.”
• “He gets upset when routines change suddenly.”
• “She finds group work overwhelming and leaves her seat repeatedly.”

This avoids triggering fear and keeps the conversation focused on support, not diagnosis.

Showing respect for family expertise

Parents know:

• what calms their child
• what triggers meltdowns at home
• how the child behaves in unstructured environments
• the routines that help mornings, meals, and bedtime go smoothly

A simple sentence builds trust:

“You know your child better than anyone. I’d really value your insight.”

Celebrating small successes

Families often hear only problems from schools. A supportive school makes sure they also hear:

• “He participated in group work today.”
• “She finished her writing with only one reminder.”
• “He helped another student during the activity.”

Positive communication changes the relationship from crisis-driven to partnership-driven.

Regular check-ins

Short, gentle communication builds consistency:

• one text message a week
• a two-minute conversation at pickup
• a notebook travelling between home and school

This prevents misunderstandings and keeps families feeling involved.

Home–School Alignment

Helping families support learning in realistic, culturally sensitive ways

Managing homework stress

Many autistic learners:

• struggle with writing
• take longer to process instructions
• feel overwhelmed after a long school day

Schools can support families by:

• giving shorter but clearer homework
• allowing alternative formats (oral recording, a diagram, fewer but more focused tasks)
• advising parents not to force long writing sessions that end in tears or conflict

Supporting home routines

Structured routines help autistic learners feel safe:

• a predictable homework time
• a consistent bedtime
• a calm space for reading or writing
• visual cues (simple charts, picture schedules)

Teachers can gently guide parents:

“Even a simple routine — same time each day, same place — can reduce stress a lot.”

Aligning behaviour expectations gently

Many autistic behaviours are misunderstood at home:

• “Why does he hide under the table?”
• “Why does she scream when we go to the market?”

Teachers can help parents interpret these behaviours as communication, not disobedience, and share simple strategies:

• giving warnings before transitions
• letting the child hold a comfort item
• planning quiet breaks
• avoiding crowded settings when possible

This is not about telling parents how to parent—it is about sharing what works in school so they can try similar approaches at home.

When Challenges Arise

Respectful, calm, collaborative responses

Listening before advising

Parents often need space to express:

• fear
• frustration
• sadness
• exhaustion
• confusion

Listening helps teachers understand the family’s perspective before suggesting any next steps.

Collaborative problem solving

Instead of giving instructions (“Do this at home”), teachers can ask:

• “What is hardest at home right now?”
• “What helps, even a little?”
• “Can we try one strategy together this week?”

Joint action planning leads to sustainable change.

Avoiding judgemental language

Avoid:

• “You must…”
• “Why didn’t you…?”
• “You need to control him better.”

Use instead:

• “Let’s try…”
• “One thing that works in school is…”
• “Would this help at home?”

Gentle language ensures families feel supported, not blamed.

Embedded Tools to Support Conversations

Parent Meeting Script (Short Version)

Step 1 — Warm Start
“Thank you for coming. We really value your time.”

Step 2 — Positive Observation
“Your daughter is very kind and tries hard in class.”

Step 3 — Describe (not diagnose)
“We’ve noticed she gets very upset when routines change suddenly.”

Step 4 — Invite Family Perspective
“Is this something you’ve seen at home?”

Step 5 — Offer Support
“We have a strategy that helps. Would you like to try it together?”

Step 6 — Agree a Small Next Step
“This week, we’ll both give her a two-minute warning before transitions.”

Positive Home–School Communication Template

• Today she succeeded at: ____________________________
• A challenge she faced was: ____________________________
• What helped in school: ____________________________
• Something you may try at home: ____________________________
• Anything you’d like us to know from home: ____________________________

Short. Practical. Relationship-building.

Joint Action-Planning Sheet (Teacher + Parent)

• What is the main concern? ____________________________
• When does it happen most? ____________________________
• What helps at home? ____________________________
• What helps at school? ____________________________
• One strategy to test this week: ____________________________
• Review date: ____________________________

This keeps plans realistic and time-bound.

Conclusion — Ending the Guide, Strengthening the Partnership

Supporting autistic learners in Bangladesh is a shared journey between teachers, leaders, and families. This guide has offered practical, low-cost ways to:

• understand autistic differences
• create predictable, inclusive classrooms
• build supportive school systems
• work sensitively with parents
• reduce stigma through compassionate teaching

Autistic learners thrive when adults around them communicate with respect, use clear routines, and understand behaviour as communication—not defiance. Small changes, repeated consistently, can transform a child’s school experience.

As you continue this work, you may find it helpful to revisit other chapters in this guide:

• Autism in the Bangladesh Context – the national picture of autism, diagnosis, and inclusive education.
• Understanding Autism in the Classroom – what autism is (and is not), with BD classroom scenarios.
• Classroom Strategies for Autistic Learners – practical, low-cost techniques for structured teaching, communication, behaviour, and academic support.
• Creating a Supportive School Environment – collaboration, professional development, routines, and monitoring progress with limited staff.

For a wider whole-school lens on inclusion, you can also explore the BRIDGE: Inclusion & Access Self-Review Framework , which provides structured tools and templates for reflecting on equity, access, classroom inclusion, monitoring, and partnerships with families and community.

Inclusion is not a task. It is a promise — that every child in Bangladesh, whatever their differences, will experience belonging, dignity, and opportunity in school.